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Do you ever get asked - What do you like about yourself?

All too often we respond with “I don’t know” and then, when pushed, we respond with a physical trait, such as our eyes! Sound familiar?

So what if I ask you what you like about yourself as a soul? As a personality?

It is not a question I like being asked either way – BUT a valid one, and one that can help you to work on yourself as a person.

Self-appraisal is not something we talk about much, it can be seen as being self –obsessed/up our own bum or insecure and down on ourselves. But if you face this question honestly and be true to yourself, it can be a real eye-opener.

Sometimes the things we don’t like about ourselves turn out to be a strength, for example stubbornness can be seen as determination, shyness as humility. But either way, if we don’t like ourselves, we have a problem!

If you treat yourself the same way as you would treat anyone else that you love, you will see a huge difference in your outcomes, aims, happiness and your relationships. When you send out vibes that you are not enough, that you are not a worthy person or that you don’t even like who you are, you are subconsciously confirming to others that you can be treated in the same way by them. You are also standing in the way of your own contentment and happiness by blocking real and healthy relationships, personal satisfaction/achievements and your own mental wellbeing. But to be good to yourself you need to LOVE yourself. And I mean properly.

The point is, not to try and be what you THINK is the right way to be, but be happy with who you are right now. Not the perfect version you are aiming for, but the REAL you NOW. The one who loses their patience, the one who feels insecure about their hair, the one who eats the extra piece of cake or the one who needs to socialise more. Whatever, whoever… be happy with that person and own your own personal traits.

 

For example – DO I LIKE MYSELF? Here is my answer for you…

Yes, yes is do like myself. I have many parts to my personality that are questionable and sometimes even downright scary, BUT what I know about myself is that whatever I do or say comes from my heart and with good intentions. I own my mistakes and I try to correct them and avoid making them again.

I look at the positive aspects of my soul (positive according to our current society) and I acknowledge and build on them, for example my desire to help others, my wish to fix problems that arise around me, my protective and loyal nature towards those I love etc. Then I also take a direct view about my shadow side, the darker aspects of my soul (again, negative according to society views) and I try to use those aspects in a beneficial way. For example, stubbornness becomes determination, physical insecurities become modesty, being ridiculously outspoken becomes being a voice for those who cannot stand up for themselves, a Taurus grudge becomes high standards and expectations (yeah I know that one is a bit far-fetched lol but you get the idea, and I am working on being more forgiving!!).

DISCLAIMER – obviously I am not advocating someone being a complete bum crack, murderer or any other negative person and justifying it with self-love! If you need me to say that, then you are definitely reading the wrong blog and maybe need a little bit of help that I can’t provide LOL.

So, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that some parts of us don’t need work, for the love of all that is holy – I need some serious psychological intervention at times, just ask my sister and friends, BUT what I am saying is that those things are YOU, part of YOU, and what make YOU who YOU are. So, for good or for bad, you must be proud of who you are and try to see all aspects of your soul as YOU and use them to your advantage. Very often we subconsciously bury the darker side of us, deep within, to avoid admitting that we can be negative or have insecurities (just look at childhood bullies for that one). This is not the answer, in order to love ourselves, we need to truly SEE all sides of our personality/soul and embrace them.

How we view ourselves is very often NOT the way others perceive us. Especially when our ego or insecurities take over!

So play a game with someone you know and trust to be honest, ask them to list 10 things to describe your personality (they must explain them, so putting KIND is not a damn option! LOL) and then you also list 10 things you know about yourself as a person. Then compare them… (I’d love to hear how you get on with that in the comments below!)

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER – apologies if you do the game I suggested and it causes a divorce or something …like I said it all comes from a good place haha!

So all that being said, what do we do with this inner knowledge, this awareness of self, do we shout it from the roof tops? Um, no probably not, but you should treat yourself with the same respect and love as you do to others. Put yourself on top of that list, take time to give yourself care and attention, DO NOT SEE SELF CARE AS A LUXURY. It is NOT. It has taken me a long time to realise this. Up-bringing, parenting, fast paced life can all influence how we view self-care. We often see taking time for ourselves as a luxury, something that should be a treat. Well, I have finally realised it isn’t. The age old saying “fill your own cup first”, or the explanation on a plane’s safety notice – put your own oxygen mask on before you help others, both help to explain why we need to take care of ourselves in order to be the best we can be.

What do you do to take time for yourself and just be you?

Let me know how you get on

Much love as always

Sharley

xx

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